How do I invite the right people to my wedding?

We all have a couple of friends on Facebook we haven’t actually met, right? So, how can you go about finding the right mix of family, friends, extended family, and acquaintances to invite to your wedding?

The first and biggest decision made regarding your wedding guest list is the number of people you can invite. This can be restrained by the budget, the venue, the equality of guests by comparison with your partner, or even the intimacy desired and expressed in your ceremony, reception, and vows. It is your special day, so think long and hard with your spouse-to-be about how many people you want to share it with. Don’t take too much time, though: as we said before, this is an important step in the wedding planning process, because it also dictates many other decisions down the road.

After you set the number, start getting that list of names together. Starting with family is a given, but "close" versus "extended" family can become a gray area for some. Inviting guests out of guilt is never a good enough reason to send an invitation. This is why wedding announcements, placed into the mail the day of your wedding, with small engagement photos are a great alternative. Sending something to family and friends that don’t keep in touch frequently or live far away keeps them in the loop without making them feel guilty.

The type of audience you want may depend on how you see yourselves and your wedding as a couple. While most friends you may know could easily bring a date, boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t forget about the married couples with children. Older and younger demographics often require extra thought, consideration, and accommodations for food, venue, music selection, and overall ceremony and reception tone.

Remember to check with all the players involved: both sets of parents included. While whomever is footing the bill gets a greater say in who is invited, everyone needs to have their opportunity for input. Listening (and maybe a little compromising) now will pave the way for smoother wedding planning down the road.

Deciding on your guest list is a fun, great way to spend some time together with your spouse-to-be before making other decisions. Get to know and talk about each other’s friends and family, before meeting some of them for the first time. Just make sure it all gets worked out to whatever feels right for both of you at your wedding early on in the planning process, remembering that figuring this out now makes it all a little bit easier later!

Always,
Amy